It started with a joke my sister made. The joke wasn't even directed towards me either actually.. it was to a friend of hers. My sister forgot to tell her friend that this... predicament.. was a joke and had her believing it for an entire day.

Let's back track before I get ahead of myself here..

Basically, in a casual conversation, my 10 year old sister told her friend (who had asked about my relationship status) that I had a boyfriend named Snake; the reason I couldn't go to the event they were at. I was preoccupied with my new beau. The reaction from the little girl was reserved and accepting.

The next day, when my sister returned to this weekend event, she hung out with her friend again. Out of nowhere, the friend turned to my sister and said in disbelief "Does your sister actually have a boyfriend named Snake?". A look of genuine concern accompanied the question.

My sister then relayed to her friend that Snake was merely a joke and that I had no boyfriend. My folks found it funny, so it became a common joke to refer to every once in a while. Finally in my late teens and early 20's, people wanted to know about my love life and why I didn't have a boyfriend.  My scapegoat? Snake.

I would jokingly tell them of Snake and all the marvelous plans we had together. I even gave him a few unique physical features. He was actually biracial. An anomaly of sorts really; his mom was Chinese and his dad was Arabian.

With every question I am asked, I add to the story.

So there you have it. The background story of my first and last love, Snake; the made up boyfriend whose story is yet to be fully told.

Stay tuned; not even I know where his story will take us next but I will be sure to spill the beans here first.

- Mrs.Snake <3

"You're single, what do you know?" 

Prepare for a much-needed rant. I am going to try to make this as readable as I possibly can by breaking up my paragraphs a bit. I doubt this post will go above 500 words though, so don't quit reading on me just yet.

There is a saying I heard a few months ago. It said "Business does not equal productiveness". I agreed with it, and I do believe I understood it completely. As with anything though, it's one thing to hear it and agree with it. It's another to live it.

I am extremely indecisive right now regarding my time. I just recently settled on a morning routine and I'm proud of it. It allows me to get done everything I want to get done in the mornings. As for how my days are spent however, it's like my brain is always engaged in a battle with itself.

"Do more!" 
"But hey, don't do too much."

"Work hard! Grind like your life depends on it- cause it does!"
"Don't miss out on enjoying your life by choosing to slave it away"

"Be thankful for being single. You're young! You've got plenty of time."
"You're not getting any younger... don't you want to enjoy your husband while you're both young?"

"Don't waste your time."
"There is no such thing as wasted time."

"Work"
"Relax"

"Speak up"
"Observe"

"Do this!"
"You should do that instead.." 

Etc. Etc. Etc.

If I could name this chapter of my life, I believe I would call it "Indecisions: Attempting to Live My Best Life.".

Have you ever thought about that? The sense behind that statement? Living my best life.

Hm...

My question is, how exactly can you live your best life? We only get one and there are so many choices to choose from. How can you be confident, assertive, and happy with living your life... if you only have one life to live?

If it were up to me, I would have at least five lives. Then I could attempt to live each one fully dedicating myself to experiencing all that those five different paths have to offer without wondering what it'd be like to live differently.

It seems like in every path of life, there is both an up and there is a down. Person A has more money than person B. But person B has more tight-knit loving relationships in his life than person A.

Person C and Person D are considered "goals" but are emotionally isolated from each other. Person E and Person F experience deep emotional connection but because you barely see them out, they're considered your average couple.

Person X has 7 best friends, but none of them are true friends. Person Y has one friend, and that person will be there for the rest of their life.

What I notice is not "quality over quantity", which is what we are all encouraged to notice when we are given paradox's like those. What I notice is "we all do and we all do without".

There is nothing blatantly dissatisfactory about one person's life over another person's life because truthfully, they all have their advantages.

I guess it all boils down to contentment.

Person X may have 7 not-so-true best friends, but person X also gets to enjoy multiple personalities, a wide variety of birthday gifts, and a girls night out like no other.

Person C and Person D may not be authentic "goals" but they sure do know how to spark a love for togetherness amongst the many couples they influence.

Person A may not have as many if any tight-knit loving relationships in his life, but thanks to his amount of money he can afford to travel to incredible places at the drop of a dime and bring a suitcase full of name brand clothes with him.

I really have no way to wrap up this post except to pose a question, because I really don't have a solution.

Do you think that there is a such thing as a "better" lived life? Or do you think that we all experience the same level of a good life no matter what we do because we all experience benefits of our own?

Let me know in comments...

Wake Up Early

I was never a morning person until I had to be. When you wake up early, you give yourself a little extra time to focus on things you may not ordinarily get the chance to otherwise... like say, a side hustle! In my house, we try to stick to the goal of being "alive by 5 and in by 10". Before I would say that it is ludicrous to wake up at 5 am, but now I can honestly say that it is the best thing to do, especially when trying to manage a side hustle.

Plan 

Alright, so you've got extra time now but what do you do with it? Come up with an agenda that you can do in that hour. No time is wasted time but you do want to focus on maximizing it when you can. Make a list of to-do's for your side hustle at the end of the weekend, and during the week, cross off what you can when you can. Set a goal for the amount of things you want to have accomplished at the end of the week, and if you reach it- celebrate yourself! Don't discount your wins.

Do the Hard Things First

You may have heard it before, and it may seem super cliche but even when you think you don't want to do the hard things first: you actually want to do the hard things first. Why you might ask? Well, you end up thanking yourself at the end of the day when the last thing you have to do at your most worn-out stage in the day is in fact the easiest thing on your plate. Otherwise, you end up burdening yourself with tasks you probably couldn't do as efficiently anyway. Save yourself the trouble, get the hard things out of the way, and thank yourself later.

Make Time to Relax

Never underestimate the wonders a day spent relaxing can do for your work ethic. We are not machines. We can't operate like them or we will explode. Part of being human is having both work and rest, so make sure that you set yourself aside that time to recoup from the stresses of the day. You need it and more than that, if you're the least bit worn down, you probably deserve it more than anyone.

Make Time for Maintenance

Sometimes we neglect our own needs for the sake of lack of prioritizing correctly. It's okay, it happens from time to time. We get caught up in the day to day life and things that we normally do get thrown in the rear view mirror as we continue to press on down our path. Your needs do not seize simply because your life requires you to have to sacrifice a bit more than usual. We are given a limited amount of time- the best we can do with that time is to maximise it in the best way we possibly can. Conclusion suggestion? Make a self-care day at least once every week in which you do your nails, throw on a face mask, and take care of any self-care needs.

Get Some Sleep

It is officially day one of the "write every night" challenge (yes, I unintentionally renamed it...it will probably adapt a few different names throughout the course of this challenge. Gotta keep things interesting, right). I told myself I would write to my heart's content and not stop for any edits or revisions so what you see will be pretty raw and uncut (except for maybe the occasional spell check... oh! And sentence structure check..but that's it I promise!).

I have been thinking a lot lately about my mindset. It is the one thing that I have consistently dealt with in various areas of my life... which is crazy for me. Most people describe their life in the form of one cohesive story but for me, my life feels more like a series of chapters with abrupt beginnings and sudden endings. Yet, all throughout each chapter I have run into some hurdle involving my mentality. When I exhibit a positive mentality, my abilities are limitless. I dare to set my own boundaries and I accomplish what it is I want to accomplish. I am the most present, self-aware, and engaged in the moment when I am taking care to flood my mind with positive, helpful, and encouraging thoughts.

I used to believe that the statement "You've gotta be your own best friend" was completely dumb and unfounded. We were created to have and enjoy relationships with each other, I thought. It seemed to me that "being your own best friend" was really just a more socially acceptable way of saying "you should just be a narcissist". Then, as I got older I began to realize that this statement wasn't intended to be misconstrued in that way at all. We think thousands upon thousands of thoughts a day. A good amount of them are spent on judging ourselves for our appearance or even simply the way we do things. Our thoughts are essentially our inborn life coaches. If we are constantly being told that we aren't good enough and we'll never measure up, how will we give ourselves the energy and drive we need to act out in a positive way? Wouldn't it be easier to just give up?

When our thoughts, or inborn life coaches rather, are encouraging rather than discouraging and helpful rather than bashful, we give ourselves the energy we need to achieve what we wish. Will power is everything in life. That and resilience. If you determine that you will, you are going to! Be positive, get realistic about accomplishing what you dream to(because you can be both realistic and optimistic, just saying). Today I am choosing to speak triumphantly over my issues and concerns. I may not be where I wish to be, but I know I can get there. I know I will get there. I just have to remove the doubt from within and replace it with confidence in who I am and what I am capable of.

I don't exercise my writing muscle enough.